“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

Everyone has a vice.  Sometimes it is super apparent because drugs, alcohol, caffeine are actual substances that people tend to use to cover pain, insecurity, sadness…you name it.  Vices come in so many different forms, and for me it came in the form of perfectionism.  I put all my energy in trying to be the the best for everyone else, which gave me little time to cooncern myself with my own issues. Perfectionism was my drug…and with any drug addiction, recovery is ongoing.  So my name is Alicia and I am a recovering perfectionist.

Managing this addiction is a challenge, because I’ve found myself still chasing that “best” title.  Even through my challenges, I’ve tried to be the best at handling them…and then I usually crash, because there is no such thing.  You can try to do everything “right”, and still the outcome could be completely different than you anticipated.  I am learning now to accept that my life is just not a neat, perfectly designed work of art.  It is actually some days very messy, confusing, and full of twists and turns.  This is not always a comfortable space for me, but I’ve learned to breathe through uncertainty.  I’ve learned to accept that I just don’t know the answers sometimes.  I’ve learned to be still as opposed to fixing everything and everyone (including me)…whew that is a big one!

How have I been able to do this?  Not alone for sure.  I recently attended a women’s conference (I Am Woman 2016).  It was truly life changing.  Initially I thought, “Will this be for me considering the amount of work I’ve already done on myself? “   By the end of the conference, I realized how far I still have to go, and that the journey to my best self will be never-ending.   I learned so much from this conference, but a huge take away was just how important your support network is.  I have people in my life that love me in spite of myself; my mistakes;  my weaknesses; In spite of my quirkiness; In spite of my perfectionism. I have ride or dies that will still be there when I fall and will cheer me on as I fly.  Life is empty without connection and love…I felt overwhelmingly grateful to have a network to love and journey through this life with!

My other huge take away from the conference was from the Keynote Speaker, Liz  Muray.  She touched me in ways that I can’t even put into words, but one of the many things she said that continues to resonate with me is, “A person can’t give you what they don’t have”.  WOW!  That hit me like a ton of bricks.  This made me think about my dad, my marriage and other sacred relationships in my life.  It made me more sensitive to their limitations, and more aware of my own.  A person can’t give you what they don’t have for themselves (love, honor, respect, honesty).  And in turn, if you don’t fight for those things for yourself, you won’t ever require more.  That starts with believing you deserve more.  Talk about an aha moment!  I used perfectionism to hide from the fact that I didn’t love myself enough to believe that others would love me if I wasn’t perfect….I’m still not perfect and never will be, but I’m continuously accepting the fact that it is OK to just be…ME!

My Takeaways:

  • Falling in love with me is a lifetime relationship, and there are always going to be vices that get in the way of that. Perfectionism is my way of hiding from myself.  I am a recovering perfectionist which will always be the case, so I have to consciously avoid my drug.
  • I am loved unconditionally in all my messy imperfection. Period!  In all of that messy imperfection, I am enough and worthy of all life has to offer!

My Challenge for You:

  • Identify your vice. We all have one!  What are you hiding from by using this vice?
  • What will you do today to begin your recovery from this vice…I’d love to work with you if you decide you need support along the way. Go to my blog to explore ways to connect with me…please visit https://gettingofftheporch.com/coaching/ to see how!