The word itself can cause so much anxiety. Those of you who follow my blog, know that I’ve been on a journey to be and live an authentic life.  My journey started when I realized I’ve been living on the porch, and has taken me through some incredibly challenging and scary places. At times, I’ve questioned myself and asked, “Is it worth it?”  I pray each night that being honest with myself about the most sacred, scary, and fundamental aspects of who I am, will lead me closer to the peace and freedom my soul yearns for.

Recently the shower head in my bathroom started to leak. It was not the original shower head that came with the house. This one was fancy and could be removed and had a massage feature. It never worked great, and it now was squirting water everywhere periodically.  We would turn and move it in just the right direction so that it would not spray all over the bathroom.  The water pressure was always weak with this shower head, but we just got used to it and accepted that it was what it was.  Until finally, there was no adjusting that would work.  My husband was going away on a trip and something had to be done quickly or I would not be able to use the shower at all.  So he found the original shower head and replaced the faulty one.  When I took a shower that night, it was the best shower I had taken in the 8 years that I lived in this house.

As I took that shower, I started to reflect on the fact that sometimes we get used to broken things, being broken, being in broken situations, or accepting broken relationships, because it’s just easier than trying to fix them. Simply, we get used to being broken, and convince ourselves its ok…like taking mediocre showers for 8 years.  I believe that was me.  After a few blows to the head and heart, I had no choice but to begin facing what was broken inside of me, and what I found was that sometimes you have to go back to the original (showerhead) core of who you were and re-emerge as something new and improved.  I still battle with anxiety and insomnia, because of the uncertainty that remains in my life, but what gives me strength, and what gives me clarity, is that I am living in truth and honesty.   I am facing and experiencing life head on, and my showers are a hell of lot better.  I don’t live in fear, because I know my ground is solid, my village is strong, and my mind is clear.  No matter what tomorrow brings, I will be ok, because I’ve been as honest in my journey of authenticity as I could possibly be…and I am still here, standing strong, and seeking PEACE!  I’ve come too far to turn back now.

My Take Aways: 

  • If something is broken, or not working properly, fix it!
  • Fear is paralyzing, Honesty is POWERFUL
  • Comfortable doesn’t mean it can’t get or be better

My Challenge for you:

  • Is your showerhead broken? Is something else broken in your home, if so, I bet there is also something broken in our heart.
  • List one thing you’ve gotten used to being broken, and begin developing a game plan to fix it.