“I didn’t find out who I was, until I found out who I wasn’t”  – Paul Carrick Brunson

I recently celebrated my 46^th birthday.  As the day approached I felt quite a bit of anxiety. That surprised me because I feel better than I’ve ever felt.  I feel like I have mind, body, and soul balance.  As the day got closer, I started to think about a few things that are not where I want them to be.  First and foremost are my finances.  I’ve really spent the last seven years working on all aspects of myself, and the here and now, but have focused little on tomorrow and my financial future.  The number 46 was glaring at me as my birthday got nearer and nearer, and I realized I have a lot of work to do to plan for my retirement.  I literally felt a little defeated, discouraged, and wish I listened more to my mother about planning.  I allowed myself to feel regret for just a moment, and then as I tell many of my clients, I told myself it is never too late.  I decided that my gift to myself this year will be to continue to grow in my authentic life, and to also grow more financially responsible by starting a plan for a comfortable retirement. There are so many excuses of why I can’t, but really it just takes the commitment and choice to invest a little each pay check.  I literally put that plan into action the day after my birthday, and can’t wait to see where I am a year from now.  I know it will be miraculous, because as I reflect back to where I was this time last year, and the amount of work I’ve done on myself, I know without a doubt with discipline and commitment anything is possible.

I did a 5K run a few days before my birthday, and the words honesty and authenticity were at the forefront of my thoughts.  I think the greatest birthday gift of my life came during my 45^th year.  I gave myself the gift of honesty by facing my biggest fears.  My biggest fear was that by honoring my truth, I would lose some or all of the relationships that meant the world to me, but the desire to be whole over powered the fear of loss.  There are three very dear relationships in my life that have been extremely strained due in part to life happening; and in many ways me changing the dynamics of my role in each of these relationships.  In all three of these relationships, space was required for my growth and healing, and all three have changed dramatically.  During the month of May, I had the opportunity to have a conversation with all three of them. In the past, conversations like these would have caused me angst, because I would be fearful to say the “wrong” thing, or not be what they needed, or not be enough, but something was different this time.  Because I’ve completely accepted my part in the “brokenness” of all three relationships, have forgiven myself, and forgiven them; I was able to have a powerful exchange with all three of them!  These three relationships in particular will never be what they were, mostly because I didn’t like who I was back then, but my hope is that we can start over from a place of healing and being better versions of ourselves.  Wouldn’t that be a perfect birthday present?!

My Take Away: 

There is always work to do.

Forgiveness is key to moving forward.

Honesty and authenticity give you power…never give your power away by hiding from who you really are.  You are enough…period!

My Challenge for you:

What areas of your life need a little extra attention?   Financial planning?  Friendships? Finding your truth?  Figure out one small step that you can do today to move toward a specific goal like:

• Opening a savings account and committing to regularly make a deposit each week.
• Calling a friend or family member to begin a conversation of healing.
• Facing that one thing that you have been hiding from by writing a letter of forgiveness to yourself.

Be brave, be courageous, and most of all be HONEST!