I WILL BEAT HER. I will train harder. I will eat cleaner. I know her weakness. I know her strengths. I’ve lost to her before, but not this time. She is going down. I have the advantage because I know her well. She is the Old Me.         -Bonnie Pfiester

How do you tell your story?  Do you make excuses for why you are in the situations you find yourself? Do you blame the other person in your relationship(s) for what you allowed to happen?  Did you ignore signs that were there all along?  Do you play the victim?  Do you use your voice to say NO?

For a long time, I was and did all of the things above.  I lived as if I was that poor little girl on the porch waiting for someone to show up.    I was that girl in the gym waiting until someone was forced to choose me for their team.  I was that insecure girl who would get to the locker room early, so that I could change before anyone could see just how underdeveloped and skinny I was.  I was that girl who didn’t see her beauty, and hid behind bangs and baggy clothes.   I overcompensated and over “did” so people would “love” me. I grew into that person that sang the woe is me song about how people took advantage of my kindness.  Most sadly, I was that girl who allowed herself to be smaller, and quieted my voice, so that others could be comfortable.  I ignored all the signs and that inner voice that was dying to show me that there was so much more to me.  So how did I move from that girl to this strong, confident, sexy, happy, woman.  I decided to rewrite the script, and if I can do it, so can you!

Who you were yesterday, is not who you have to be today.  But the key is to begin with honesty.  I had to look in the mirror and have a hard talk with myself.  I had to take ownership for every aspect of my life, including the decisions and choices I made.  I had to admit that I chose to be the victim for a long time.  I felt sorry for myself for being that little girl who got left on the porch, who was too skinny, non-athletic, and insecure, and in many ways that transcended into my adult life.  I found myself in real life dilemmas and initially thought, “How could this be happening to me?”…and then I got real.  I began to literally look in the mirror and say, “how could I allow this to happen to me? “  What began to click was that I allowed people to take advantage of me.   I allowed myself to be in situations that made me feel small, compromised who I wanted to be, how I wanted to be loved, and what I wanted for my life.  But what also clicked was that I had the power to change it.  I could rewrite the script of my life and who I chose to be.

My new script goes something like this: I love my curves that I never had before, and I have ripples on my tummy that represent the strength it took to birth three beautiful lives into this world.  I am an imperfect mom who loves her kids with every ounce of her heart.  I am a runner, and I run to be healthy, strong, and have amazing conversations with God while doing it.  I eat well, but also occasionally splurge on the “bad” stuff like cake and ice cream, because they make me happy.  I have standards and boundaries that I don’t let anyone cross, and I use my voice to say NO when something threatens to harm the peace I’ve worked so hard to have in my heart and soul.  I am a great friend and listener, but I do not own other people’s “stuff” or journey.  I am a risk taker and my purpose in this world is to let my light shine.  I am not a victim. I do not let life happen to me; I live life.  I take ownership of my mistakes, and I learn and grow from them.  I am not perfect, and have no desire to be.  I am very sensitive and cry at commercials.  I belly laugh and find joy in the smallest things.  I am kind, grateful, and live with no expectations for others to fill or complete me.  I am enough, and I am deeply loved by so many…just because!

My take away:

• Happiness is a choice, and it takes honesty, work, and a shift in thinking to get it. It is never too late, and you can decide today to take ownership of your life, your peace, and your joy.
• When you own your journey, your choices, and your life, the only person who can stop you from having all you desire, is you!

My Challenge for you:

• What is the old story of your life? How has that story prevented you from achieving the peace and joy you want out of life?
• Rewrite your script, and start living the life you want! It is in your power…REALLY IT IS!